Country's Best Cheating Songs: No. 20
by Brian Mansfield
If Will Rogers had been a country fan, he'd probably have amended one of his most famous quips to say that nothing is certain but death, taxes and cheating songs. Just like trains and booze, songs about sleeping around have long been a staple of country music. The Boot counts down infidelity's best.
'Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under' --Shania Twain (1995)
Wandering Words: "Don't act so blue/I know I'm not the only girl you run to"
She presses her paramour for details about his multiple trysts, but the affairs don't seem to bother her as much as his flaunting them. A coquettish Twain, whose real-life husband was recently accused of cheating, seems to relish telling this guy off, as if to prove he never meant that much to her, either.
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No. 19
'The Thunder Rolls'
-- Garth Brooks (1991)
Wandering Words: "The thunder rolls and the lightning strikes/Another love grows cold on a sleepless night."
Bad weather's moving in, which is what the woman hopes is keeping her husband from driving home on a late night. The song never says what she does when he finally shows up smelling of strange perfume. But in the video, famously banned by CMT, she blows the guy away.
No. 18
'Whoever's in New England'
--Reba McEntire (1986)
Wandering Words: "You'll always have a place to go when whoever's in New England's through with you."
Reba's no dummy. She's got a pretty good idea the business her man has in Boston is of the personal variety. But Reba takes the Tammy Wynette tack and decides to stand by her man. Or at least she gives him that option -- packing his bags but telling him he's welcome back home.
No. 17
'Ruby, Don't Take Your Love to Town' --Kenny Rogers (1969)
Wandering Words: "If I could move I'd get my gun and put her in the ground."
Ruby may be the most cold-hearted woman in country music -- not only cheating on a paralyzed war vet but also forcing him to watch as she prepares for her dates. The song's cuckold merely dreams of shooting his unfaithful mate, but apparently the man whom writer Mel Tillis based the song on actually did.
No. 16
'When I Think About Cheatin''
--Gretchen Wilson (2005)
Wandering Words: "When I think about cheatin', I just think about you leavin'."
Wilson may not have done the deed yet, but she's clearly thinking about it. She admits that strangers tempt her, and she let one guy buy her champagne and whisper in her ear before ditching him on the dance floor. Maybe she's never crossed the line, but she likes getting close.
No. 15
'The Window Up Above'
--George Jones (1961)
Wandering Words: "I heard you whisper to him softly that our marriage was all wrong."
In the 'Rear Window' of country songs, the singer witnesses everything: the lovers' embrace, the ardent whispers. As he confronts his wife, he tries to maintain control, but his voice betrays his pain. The background vocals become a funeral choir as his marriage dies before his eyes.
No. 14
'Who's Cheatin' Who'
--Alan Jackson (1997)
Wandering Words: "Who's cheatin' who, who's being true, and who don't even care anymore?"
It's a regular Wisteria Lane in this song about gossip and curiosity. At the time it hit the charts, rumors were swirling around about Jackson's own marriage, and he eventually admitted to infidelity.
No. 13
'Carolyn' --Merle Haggard (1972)
Wandering Words: "I believe a man will do that sometimes out of spite, but, Carolyn, a man will do that always when he's treated bad at home."
Haggard broaches the subject of infidelity to his wife by saying he's "heard about a man" who sees other women to make him feel "warm." Perhaps it's a secondhand story; more likely, he's gauging her reaction before telling her the full truth.
No. 12
'Cheatin'' --Sara Evans (2005)
Wandering Words: "You've done your sowing, now you can do the reaping/Maybe you should have thought about that when you were cheating"
Evans' first husband should've listened more closely to this song about a woman gloating over her philandering man's subsequent misfortune. When Evans suspected him of having an affair, she went public with every nasty allegation she could think of.
No. 11
'Alibis' --Tracy Lawrence (1993)
Wandering Words: "Boy, you can bet if a move can be made she knows how to make it on you."
In this remorse-filled waltz, Lawrence comes to the realization that his wayward ways have taught his wife "every trick in the book." What finally gets to him, though, isn't so much his own cheating, it's how his actions have destroyed the trust and the innocence of a woman he obviously still loves.
No. 10
'Reasons I Cheat'
--Randy Travis (1986)
Wandering Words: "I'm getting older, my life's growing colder – just some of the reasons I cheat."
Travis unapologetically lays out the circumstances that led to a life of infidelity -- work stress, fading youth, an emotionally distant spouse. His dreams are dashed, but the willing young woman sitting next to him at the bar lets him lie to himself that somebody still cares.
No. 9
'Kerosene' --Miranda Lambert (2005)
Wandering Words: "Cheatin' really ain't a crime."
A fuming Lambert hands down a death sentence to her wayward lover on her breakthrough hit. Sara Evans may have taken her cheater for everything he owned; Lambert leaves a smoldering corpse behind: "Now I don't hate the one who left," she sings, matter-of-factly. "You can't hate someone who's dead."
No. 8
'After the Fire Is Gone' --Conway Twitty & Loretta Lynn (1971)
Wandering Words: "Love is where you find it, when you find no love at home."
"Me and Conway never once come close to any affair," Lynn wrote in her 2002 memoir 'Still Woman Enough,' "even though half of Nashville thought we did." But on this and several other collaborations, their voices crackled with so much desire, how could even the most trusting fan have thought otherwise?
No. 7
'Blame It on Your Heart'
--Patty Loveless (1993)
Wandering Words: "Blame it on your lyin', cheatin', cold dead-beatin', two-timin', double-dealin', mean, mistreatin' broken heart."
Loveless has a few choice words for her unfaithful lover, and she strings them together into one of the most unforgettable hits of the early '90s.
No. 6
'The Cold Hard Facts of Life'
--Porter Wagoner (1967)
Wandering Words: "Who taught who the cold hard facts of life?"
Returning early from a business trip, a man picks up champagne to surprise his wife. Another customer at the liquor store is buying wine for a party, he says with a wink. When the first guy realizes the "party" is being thrown by his philandering wife, he greets her with a knife instead of champagne.
No. 5
'Stay' --Sugarland (2007)
Wandering Words: "I've given you my best, why does she get the best of you?"
Inspired by Reba McEntire's 'Whoever's in New England,' Sugarland's Jennifer Nettles wrote this ballad from the viewpoint of the "other woman," who is in bed with her married lover, dreading the inevitable phone call beckoning him home. She eventually gets the courage to tell him she deserves more and that he should "stay" with his wife.
No. 4
'She's Actin' Single (I'm Drinkin' Doubles)' --Gary Stewart (1975)
Wandering Words: "While she pours herself on some stranger, I pour myself a drink somewhere."
Stewart sits at the bar knocking 'em back while watching his wife flirt with other men across the room. He tries to convince himself the attention they give her makes him proud, but "I'm not man enough to stop her from doing me wrong," he sings, his voice trembling.
No. 3
'Does He Love You'
--Reba McEntire and Linda Davis (1993)
Wandering Words: "Does he love you like he's been loving me?"
In the best country catfight since the days of Loretta Lynn, a wife and the other woman duke it out for the heart of the man they share. This song has stood the test of time, as youngsters Kelly Clarkson and Davis' daughter, Lady Antebellum's Hillary Scott, have both performed the song with McEntire.
No. 2
'Your Cheatin' Heart'
--Hank Williams (1953)
Wandering Words: "Your cheatin' heart will tell on you."
Williams supposedly wrote this song in his car, while complaining to his fiancée, Billie Jean, about his first wife, Audrey. After mentioning Audrey's "cheating heart," he dictated the lyrics to Billie Jean, who scribbled away in the passenger's seat.
No. 1 
'Before He Cheats'
--Carrie Underwood (2006)
Wandering Words: "Right now, she's probably saying, 'I'm drunk,' and he's thinking that he's gonna get lucky."
It's not so much about infidelity as about paranoia. Listen carefully: He's "probably slow-dancing," he's "probably up behind her with a pool stick." Maybe this guy's cheating, but maybe the woman singing is just a psycho nut job who's keying his car in an unjustified jealous rage. 
I loved the psycho nut job keying his car in an unjustified jealous rage. 
